Fundamentals: The Five Deadly Sins of Dating
Breaking down the most common mistakes guys make that prevent them from dating success
Let’s get right to it:
Getting emotionally invested too early and not keeping options open. Guys who don’t have options in the dating world tend to get emotionally attached very quickly. You have to let things develop naturally and continue pursuing all dating options UNTIL YOU ARE IN AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP (you both have agreed you won’t see anyone else). When you are in the early stages, and things are going well, it’s easy to assume that you’re going to wind up in a relationship. Women are highly evaluative and fickle with their emotions unless they have an emotional bond with a guy. If you’ve had two great dates, but on the third she doesn’t feel “the spark,” she’ll cut ties. Don’t make assumptions about where things are headed; they can change at the drop of a dime. Maintaining other options prevents neediness, and also helps you determine what actually works for you. Don’t give relationship-level of dedication to someone you just met.
Acting too much like a friend. I’ve seen a lot of guys who don’t have trouble getting first dates, but have trouble getting second dates. Society has told us as men that we’re not supposed to be sexual—we’re only supposed to be cerebral, pleasant, non-offensive, non-confrontational. I’m not saying you have to be intentionally offensive asshole with no control over his sexual urges. Not at all. However, men get into the mindset that if they take a woman out to a nice place, have a decent conversion, they’re polite, then the woman should like him. It doesn’t work that way. Instead of being flirtatious, light teasing, and using subtle touch—i.e. BEING POLARIZING. You have a distinct choice to make when dating a woman— are you going to be vulnerable, authentic, and bold with who you are, or play it safe with the hopes she’ll somehow like you for being safe and pleasant? The former always sparks the most emotions, although it comes with more risk of being disliked. It’s a risk worth taking.
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